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Down in the dumps? At least your not one of these people.

Today, I was at the doctors office and the doctor asked me, ” have you been having any sexual relations”? and the first thing that I blurted out was,”you mean with other people”? FML

Today, I woke up to 70 new text messages and 100 calls all from numbers I didn’t know. The night before I got into a heated argument with my old best friend about who was prettier. She got mad and posted my number on as a prostitute. Apparently I won. FML

Today, I checked my facebook, and my wife of 5 years was listed as single. I then write on her wall that it is ok to announce to be married. She writes back saying that we have to talk and to come to the kitchen. My wife divorced me over facebook. FML